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What makes a relationship last long?

The relationship starts with love, but you see it's not only love that keeps the wheel rolling. And if it's long term you wish, then love would have left you before you can say, LOVE. Now I will throw light on a few points.


1. Love/Commitment. At its core, love is a decision to be committed to another person. It is far more than a fleeting emotion portrayed on television, the big screen, and romance novels. Feelings come and go, but the right decision to be committed lasts forever – and that is what defines true love. It is a decision to be committed through the ups and the downs, the good and the bad. When things are going well, commitment is secure. But true love is displayed by remaining committed even through the trials of life.

2. Sexual Faithfulness. Sexual faithfulness in marriage includes more than just our bodies. It also includes our eyes, mind, heart, and soul. When we devote our minds to sexual fantasies about another person, we sacrifice sexual faithfulness to our spouse. When we offer moments of emotional intimacies to another, we sacrifice sexual fidelity to our spouse. Guard your sexuality daily and devote it entirely to your spouse. Sexual faithfulness requires self-discipline and an awareness of the consequences. Refuse to put anything in front of your eyes, body, or heart to compromise your loyalty.

3. Humility. We all have weaknesses, and relationships always reveal these faults quicker than anything else on earth. An essential building block of a healthy marriage is admitting that you are not perfect, that you will make mistakes, and that you will need forgiveness. Holding an attitude of superiority over your partner will bring about resentment and prevent your relationship from moving forward. If you struggle in this area, grab a pencil, and quickly write down three things that your partner does better than you – that simple exercise should help you stay humble. Repeat as often as necessary.

4. Patience/Forgiveness. Because no one is perfect (see #3), patience and forgiveness will always be required in a marriage relationship. Successful marriage partners learn to show unending patience and forgiveness to their partners. They humbly admit their own faults and do not expect perfection from their partner. They do not bring up past errors to hold their partner hostage. And they do not seek to make amends or get revenge when mistakes occur. If you are holding onto a past hurt from your partner, forgive him or her. It will set your heart and relationship free.

5. Time. Relationships don't work without the time investment. Never have, never will. Any successful relationship requires intentional, quality time together. And quality time rarely happens when quantity time is absent. The relationship with your spouse should be the most intimate and profound relationship you have. Therefore, it is going to require more time than any other relationship. If possible, set aside time each day for your spouse. And a date-night once in a while wouldn't hurt either.

6. Honesty and Trust. Honesty and trust become the foundation for everything healthy in a marriage. But unlike most of the other essentials on this list, trust takes time. You can become selfless, committed, or patient in a moment, but faith always takes time. Trust is only built after weeks, months, and years of being who you say you are and doing what you say you'll do. It takes time, so start now… and if you need to rebuild trust in your relationship, you'll need to work even harder.

7. Communication. Successful marriage partners communicate as much as possible. They certainly discuss kids' schedules, grocery lists, and utility bills. But they don't stop there. They also express hopes, dreams, fears, and anxieties. They don't just discuss the changes taking place in the kid's life, and they also discuss the changes taking place in their hearts and souls. This essential key cannot be overlooked because honesty and forthright communication become the foundation for so many other things on this list: commitment, patience, and trust, to name a few.

8. Selflessness. Although it will never show up on any survey, more marriages are broken up by selfishness than any other reason. Studies blame it on finances, lack of commitment, infidelity, or incompatibility, but the root cause for most of these reasons is selfishness. A selfish person is committed only to himself or herself, shows little patience, and never learns how to be a successful spouse. Give your hopes, dreams, and life to your partner. And begin to live life together.

9. Pillars - Relationship grows on three components; each of them is complimentary to each other. They are love, respect, and trust. Love is like a spark to ignite the relationship. But mainly respect and trust keep it going. The relationship breaks mostly due to mistrust. So respect your partner, trust your partner. They chose you above all for a cause. They've seen something worth keeping. Ask yourself, are you worthy of that worth? Then buddy just doesn't get carried away by trust issues and don't mistreat your loved ones.

10. Acceptance of past- This one is quite important as you have to keep this in mind that you are not assigned to your partner from the womb. They had their lives before you. They have faced problems. They had a relationship before you. So what? That didn't work; that's why you are the chosen one now. So stop being suspicious about the past. Past is not something to dwell in, especially not your loved ones

11. Acceptance of secrets- As before, we all forget that there might be things our partner won't feel comfortable to talk about. Everyone has their secrets. So let the other person keep them. Don't force them out. Just make yourself in such a position that their trust will spill their secrets.

12. Don't keep secret- Contrary? No. 1st thing is you have to trust. If you believe enough, then be comfortable to share. Eventually, you will feel closer. In the meantime, keep on gaining trust. Primarily don't hide secrets about the past that may harm your future with your partner. Like previous relationships.

13. Give them their space- Everybody seeks space for themselves. Your dating a human. They do deserve this also. Remember, you are essential, but you shouldn't be 24 hours of someone's life. A piece of advice this is. Live a life tangled. And also rejuvenate yourselves with some me-time

14. Quarrels?- So what? Everybody fights. It's normal. But remember the cause you are fighting for? Does it worth a relationship? Ask yourself. Sometimes your victories are your losses. And vice versa. Fight for love. Not for your ego or yourself. And let the girl win.. they are always right

15. Compromise- Yes. Compromise a bit. Let it be a win-win situation for you both. Let there be guidelines and structures about what to do when. Let both of you have equal share over your everyday life

16. Surprise- If it works for 70 yrs old couple, you got the best shot on it. Surprise your beloved. Make them feel the warmth. Love does not stay forever. You have to suck the marrows out of it. Relive passion every day.

17. Never break the comfort zone- As everyone dwells upon their comfort zone. You should always enrich your partner's comfort zone. Never bring them out of it. They hate public meeting. Go for a candlelight dinner. She gets ill from the mountain. Go to the sea beach. It's that easy.

This is a simple call to value our marriages, treat them with great care, and invest in them daily. Accomplishing the items listed above will always require nearly every bit of yourself, but it so worth it. After all, a successful marriage is far more valuable than most of the temporal things we chase after our lives. And will always last longer.


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